Saturday

Almost a month since I have posted?? 

Life has been busy, and yet I don't have a whole lot to say.  We seem to spend each week ticking the days off, with David busy with his studies, me back at work, and trying to juggle the kids activities in between, it is easy to see the pages of the calendar flipping over. 

I was looking forward to going back to work - being among more adult conversations.  But at the same time, I am aware it is the beginning of days away from the kids.  Especially Maggie.  But she seems happy to see me when I get home from work, and is full of smiles and cuddles.  David is doing a great job as stay at home dad.

This month we finally had Maggie dedicated at church.  At 10 months old.  I was mindful of the statement we were making in doing so, and in my ever present mother guilt I also thought about the same commitment I made for Nicholas and Audrey.

Maggie had a gorgeous Collette Dinnegan dress to wear, and Audrey wore Leona Edmiston.  :)  very fashionable pair!

I have decided I want to spend the year reading novels by Australian authors.  Well, what remains of the year!

I have just started Alex Miller's Prochownik's Dream. I am also reading Fictional Woman by Tara Moss.

Also on the list is Journey to the Stone Country, also by Alex Miller, Year of Wonders by Geraldine Brooks (shamefully, this has been on my list for a number of years).  Burial Rites by Hannah Kent, Death of a River Guide by Richard Flannagan. and Eyrie by Tim Winton..

So many books to read.  Never the time!  We'll see where I get to.

Monday

I am making time amongst the chaos of home life to read.  I have started two novels this year and not managed the enthusiasm to fight tiredness and actually get them read.  I was very impressed with Tara Moss on Q&A the other night so bought her book and immediately jumped in.  While I am still only managing to grab a page here or a paragraph there, I am enjoying it very much.  Particularly, I think, as I prepare to, once again, turn our shifting rhythm of life and return to work.  I remind myself as the familiar gnawing begins, I have done this before.  Walking the tight rope of looking forward to getting my head into another space, and feeling sick in the stomach at the thought of being away from my baby for hours on end.

 

I am still breastfeeding Maggie and she still sleeps beside me at night, although last night only from 2am, so is getting better at staying in her cot (I missed her little body beside me).  The thought of someone else doing what until now only I have done could upset me if I let it, but the fact that the next few months will be special time for her with David eases the anxiety.  I look forward to seeing them develop their own routines and the way of doing things. 

How time marches on at its own pace.  Nicholas is growing up- nearly 9.  So true that you blink and they are big.  He scored his first goal and point at AusKick last week (I know nothing about AFL!) and we are so proud of him, but more importantly, for my painfully shy (hard to imagine, but true) boy, it is a delight to see him enjoying the things he does, including piano.

 

And Audrey, who I missed and wanted to hold and hug this morning, when I returned from the school drop off to find she had made her bed, folded her pyjamas and placed her teddy carefully on her bed - all without being asked.  She is growing up and I am sad when I think how much of her toddler years seem a blur as the focus was on her big brother while he started preschool and we had so many "first time" experiences.  But love having our "grownup" girl time together. Always a coffee/hot chocolate and a magazine :)