some days there are no words

and answers seem so far away.

grace of my heart

at the beginning of the year i thought about what i felt should be my focus for the year. sure, i had resolutions, but what about something that was deeper, spiritually for my life.
the funny thing is, there are a couple of people/books/music that have been brought to my attention for various reasons in the past weeks, and all have pretty much the same theme. so i am taking my focus for 2009 from them...
a phrase that has been on my mind is faith in action. how does my faith play out in my daily life?
i am reading the book Ragamuffin Gospel, by Brennan Manning. this book gets to the nitty gritty of grace. what has specifically touched me, is the fact that we all know what grace is. we [i] can quote the theological definition. we [i] know that we are saved by grace. but how little Christians [i] tend to extend that grace to one another....
Manning is also famous for quote, "The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today are Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable." ouch, and note to self to become more aware of my life outside of church.

i have also been reading about St Benedict. he is credited with writing: The monks are to bear with patience the weaknesses of others, whether of body or behaviour. Let them strive with each other in obedience to each other.
Let them not follow their own good, but the good of others. Let them be charitable towards their brothers with pure affection.

ouch, ouch. 2nd note to self - be charitable to my brothers with pure affection.

Matthew Henry's commentary says it this way:
Many excuse themselves from the work of religion, though they may make a show, and profess it. They may impose upon others, yet they deceive themselves if they think to impose upon God, who knows their hearts as well as actions; and as he cannot be deceived, so he will not be mocked. Our present time is seed time; in the other world we shall reap as we sow now. As there are two sorts of sowing, one to the flesh, and the other to the Spirit, so will the reckoning be hereafter. Those who live a carnal, sensual life, must expect no other fruit from such a course than misery and ruin. But those who, under the guidance and influences of the Holy Spirit, live a life of faith in Christ, and abound in Christian graces, shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting. We are all very apt to tire in duty, particularly in doing good. This we should carefully watch and guard against. Only to perseverance in well-doing is the reward promised. Here is an exhortation to all to do good in their places. We should take care to do good in our life-time, and make this the business of our lives. Especially when fresh occasions offer, and as far as our power reaches.
so, because i have received grace, how much more should i extend that grace to others in my life?

_________________________________________________

and a little bit of today: N's solution to pushing his sister on the swing!

A, getting to know the chooks more...

The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.

~Erma Bombeck

from the vault

i haven't shared any of my moth eaten collections lately...
years ago my dad found an album of old postcards at the tip. many of the pages were stuck together due to wet. again, i couldn't believe that anyone would throw something like this away!!
amongst the postcards was a photograph of a World War I soldier, and about a dozen postcards he had written to his mother , brother and sister. here are some of the things he said:

'14th June 1916
Dear Ernie
Your nice long letter received today. I haven't seen any of the chaps that you have spoken of over here. They may be in Egypt or some other part of France. Plenty of rain here - mud up to our boot tops...'

'28th Jan 1917
Dear Mother
I have just received your xmas card with Joe Cullens. I was talking to Joe this afternoon. Both him and I are well - too cold to write letters for a day or so 8 inches of frozen snow on the ground for over ten days and very little sunshine.
Love from son Walter'

'1st March 1917
Dear Mother
Am well, letter follows next week. Won't be too long now till I think the big struggle will end. The news here is good now. Hope all are well.
Love from fond son Walter Moore'

'[undated]
This is the village we are camped in at present. Not a bad little place but not up to old Queanbeyan. Would like to be back there again with you.'

'16th May 1917
Dear Mother
Today is my second day in London, and I was out and had a look at this place this morning... I am in Bonny old London at last.
Son Walter'

i contacted the War Memorial but (which i already knew) they are so laden with objects and artefacts, that these days they just record correspondence and take note of who has what. not too mind, i don't mind having Walter Moore's wartime correspondence!

i love candles. everywhere.

one of my favourite windows.

evidence of a boy!

a flower outside our window.

and another kind of flower.

a pile of books and cds from my browsing on Tuesday night

art by sister Henwood.

more indigenous stuff. a basket and knecklace of seeds i bought from Oenpelli. stone arrowheads i was give in Tennessee

baking by N and i yesterday.

what do you find, if you walk around the house with your camera in hand?

my parenting philosophy - part I

A is one. i can’t believe it. this is it for me - no more baby. but i have two beautiful kids who continue to grow, learn, amaze me and exhaust me. and I wouldn’t change it. for a couple of months ago i have wanted to write down my thoughts on being a mum. i thought of writing a long essay on what i think, but instead have decided just to write down the things that when i read them, see them or think them, just feel right...

The godly walk with integrity. Blessed are their children who follow them.

Proverbs 20:7

* * *

i once saw a list on a blog on "things to remember when i'm a mum". i liked these ones so made them my own:

01. read to them and let them read to me. even if it takes forever.
02. paintbrushes and a bucket of water on a sunny sidewalk creates instant and harmless masterpieces.
03. don't try to do too many things at once. be present in the moments. don't rush the doing.
04. carry snacks.
05. let them make decisions. (but not every decision. remember who's in
charge.)
06. make a journal, documenting things they say. it's too easy to forget.
07. take pictures. not just when they are dolled up on sunday mornings but even on the days when they dump rice krispies all over the sofa.
08. eat around the table together more often than not.
09. praise them. say sweet things about them on the phone when they're still in the room.
10. make family traditions. even simple ones like kissing them before they get on the bus, cutting their sandwiches in silly shapes or going on sunday evening walks.
11. write notes and stick them in their lunchboxes. even when they are too old for lunchboxes, leave it on the bottle of orange gatorade in the fridge.
12. volunteer at their schools.
13. hang up their artwork.
14. buy them the book of their choice; let them learn to love to read.
15. sing them each their own lullabye and say prayers every night.
16. be on their level. play with them on the floor. hold them in my lap. ride roller coasters together.
17. tell them all the reasons why they are special. again and again and again.
18. say i love you. because you can never say it enough. yet refrain from yelling it to them from the car window on the first day of high school.

* * *

these books are on my reference shelf...
i haven't read them all from cover to cover, but i do read some useful stuff in them. and sometimes some not so useful stuff.

* * *

i read the following in a book called Graceful Parenting. they felt right:

Yelling doesn’t work.
You don’t have to yell to get your point across. Don’t yell at your children and don’t yell in front of your children.
Don’t yell at their brothers and sisters, and don’t yell at your husband, wife, relatives or friends. Children copy what they see around them. If you don’t yell, and people around them don’t yell, your children will learn not to yell.
If you feel like yelling, stop for a moment to get control of yourself.
If you need to do this, excuse yourself from any children before you yell.
Yelling is contagious. Once it starts, it gets worse.

Remember not to expect too much from your children
Parents often get frustrated or angry with their children because they expect them to do things they can’t do yet.
Some parents expect children to act like grown-ups, but they’re not. Don’t expect too much from your child. Instead, learn what to expect from your child at each age by reading a book or talking to a professional.
Children are loud, impolite, selfish and demanding. This is normal behaviour for them.
Don’t expect your child to be naturally caring and polite; you have to teach them these behaviours.
No child is born knowing how to act like an adult.

prayer for today

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;

where there is hatred, let me sow love;

where there is injury, pardon;

where there is doubt, faith;

where there is despair, hope;

where there is darkness, light;

and where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love;

for it is in giving that we receive,

it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.

st. francis of assisi - 13th century

happy anniversary us!

eight years. growing together. knowing each other. learning to live together. experiencing life together. travel together. eat together. movies and concerts together. family. together.

oh how He loves me

my brother-in-law just came back from the United States, and last night shared this video with us (i hadn't seen it before). it speaks for itself.