this talk is like hitting a bullseye in my heart. for as long as i have kept journals, there has been one sentence that can probably be found written more than once in each one. t is a question to God. “why do I feel this way?” when i was about 13 i saw a movie called ‘Choices of the Heart’. it told the true story of Jean Donovan, a lay-missionary who was murdered at 27 along with three nuns while working in El Salvador in the 1980’s. i place this as what first gave me a passion for justice. i am still outraged by injustices in this world, but i am more than ever challenged by my own inaction.
i went on to address some of these issues through some volunteer work with Amnesty International, representing the Australian branch at a conference in Amsterdam. in spite of this i never knew how to reconcile my faith with these beliefs, but i have always believed that the Lord gave me these convictions for a reason.
for about two months now i have been thinking deeply in my heart about my faith, and what it means to me. i know that there is something more for me. i also know that it goes beyond my church involvement. i feel like the Lord has a journey for me this year, to reach that inner part of myself where my faith connects to His heartbeat.
i’d really, really encourage anyone to listen to this talk. it spoke so much to me, about compassion, about love and about courage. so many things rang true to my heart. finally someone has articulated what i have always believed spiritually. although it is spoken from an American context, it is an important message for us all – especially mothers.
sometimes when i think there is some material thing that my children can’t do without, i remind myself of the children I have seen working in India – long hours in extreme conditions. those who do not have any option for their schooling. those children who are pawns in war – used as soldiers, as prostitutes – those who are the innocent victims of violence in an adult world. children I have seen in countries closest to Australia – Papua New Guinea and East Timor, who do not have anything near what my children have. who do not have the access to the most basic of health care or education that is offered freely to my children. yes, I am blessed. but what do I do with my blessings?
in her talk, Marianne Williamson says: “we receive God’s blessing to the extent to which we extend God’s blessing.” do i extend God’s blessing? not really. and this challenges me.
i have typed a chunk of what she says below. I couldn’t help myself....
“Terrorism is an emotion turned into an externalised political force. it is hatred turned into a political force. And the only strength powerful enough to defeat that hatred and that political force is love turned into a political and social force…
Those who believe that hatred is strong and love is weak cannot see how to accomplish this. I cannot imagine a kinda, sorta, sometimes, when it’s convenient terrorist. Terrorists are people who have embraced a world view that you and I admittedly see as filled with hate. But they are convicted behind it and they have dedicated that their very lives might be instruments for the perpetration of that world view. Every time there is a terrorist act domestically or internationally it seems to the American President always describes the act as cowardly. And I always scratch my head and I think wicked, yes; evil, yes; violent, yes; but cowardly? I am not so sure.
The truth of the matter is hatred has a perverse kind of courage. Contrast that with the fact I know many, many, many people, and I know I am sometimes one of them: are kind of, sort of, casually, when it is convenient committed to love. So the problem is not that there is more hatred in the world than love – far from it. The problem on the planet today is that those relatively few people on this earth whose hearts are filled with hatred are ironically and tragically often more convicted behind their hatred that we are convicted behind our love. So we cannot say that love cannot overcome all of the problems of the world when in fact we have not tried.
Now the love that will save the world is not just love for people we like. The love that will save the world is not just love for people who think and act like us. And as women, in order for us to help interrupt the suicidal rampage that man is currently engaged in, you and I, I believe, must come understand that the love for children, that is absolutely fundamental to the evolutionary impulse, cannot and must not, simply be love for OUR children. The love that will save this world, transform this world… is a love which loves children on the other side of the world every bit as much as it loves our own.”
“If you make as the underpinning of your civilisation economic principles rather than humanitarian principles you are a money changer. If you make the underpinnings of your right-relatedness to the world that you will spend billions and billions of dollars on military hardware of ways to kill people rather than tending to ways of conflict resolution and ways that you can help people, then you will suffer. Not because God doesn’t love you, but because He shall not be mocked.”
i know this won't make much sense to anyone else, that is why i titled this post a message for me. because i know in my heart this is the beginning of reconciliation for me...
January 30, 2009
D
i really should say more about David.
what i love about him:
* he is talented. he can use his hands.
* he is smart. when he is interested in something he researches it. he learns more about it. whether it is building, politics, cooking or study - he puts 100% into it.
* he loves his kids. he enjoys being with them. even if that means chasing games around the house at bedtime...
* he's a good dresser! i always wanted to marry someone with "man hands" - meaning working hands. hard, callused hands. i got that, and someone who likes to dress up outside of the workshop! ;-) 
what i love about him:* he is talented. he can use his hands.
* he is smart. when he is interested in something he researches it. he learns more about it. whether it is building, politics, cooking or study - he puts 100% into it.* he loves his kids. he enjoys being with them. even if that means chasing games around the house at bedtime...
* he's a good dresser! i always wanted to marry someone with "man hands" - meaning working hands. hard, callused hands. i got that, and someone who likes to dress up outside of the workshop! ;-) * he is great for conversation - and is always fun!
so there you go, just a little bit about the dad. 
January 29, 2009
about a girl * * edited * *
just over one and already she has made her mark. my labour was induced 10 days past my due date. i always joked that she was in no hurry and must have been happy where she was. 
when she was a couple of months old we nicknamed her "Pea" for her sensitivities. now i think it is all due to her stubbornness!! she is so determined and she knows exactly what she wants. sometimes i have been surprised by her little temper. makes me worry for when she is three!
when she was a couple of months old we nicknamed her "Pea" for her sensitivities. now i think it is all due to her stubbornness!! she is so determined and she knows exactly what she wants. sometimes i have been surprised by her little temper. makes me worry for when she is three!
but she is beautiful. she seemed older when she was born. she didn't quite look the newborn. i look at photographs when she is two months and when she is six months, and there isn't much difference in her countenance. she is always so serious.
i love that every day of her life (bar hospital) she has been with her brother. whether D or i, or my mother-in-law or anyone else is looking after them, they are the constant. they are always together. 
now she follows N around. she likes to play with his things, the train tracks already becoming a source of struggle. she is patient with him....
now she follows N around. she likes to play with his things, the train tracks already becoming a source of struggle. she is patient with him....at twelve months she says "ta" and "da". she points her finger and says "that" when she wants something. sometimes she says "nan" and only occasionally has she been heard to say "mum-mum". she even shakes her head when she doesn't want something.
her smile is enough to make every one else in the room laugh and smile too.
put her in a swing and she is happy...
and there is also the spin cycle on the washing machine!
at the moment she only seems to want me for everything. it is exhausting. [but nice]. oh, and as much as i claim there is no difference, shopping for a girl is fun... seriously.
January 28, 2009
our boy
for a while now i have been thinking about doing one post for each member of my family. what they mean to me and what i love about them.
N was my first. the one who made me a mother. something i have only known for 3 1/2 years, and yet it feels like a lifetime!! (in more ways than one...) his birth was textbook. it was long, but when he was born i thought to myself "i can do that again..." deep breathing (and a bit of pethidine) was my best friend. i would close my eyes, focus and breathe. i remember the midwife telling my obstetrician i hadn't made a sound. (A was a different story, but i'll save that for another day.)
last Monday we had a quiet day at home. just getting a few jobs around the house done. i was having a rare quiet moment on the couch. i had almost finished the latest novel i was reading and was anxious to finish before A woke. N was playing beside me, but insisted on talking. constantly. i said "N, please be quiet for a moment while mummy finishes her book". he picked up my book mark and asked if he could look. he said "it looks like you mama." it was a close up of Botticelli's 'Birth of Venus'. then he carefully put it back how he had found it.
i always call N my little buddy. when we walk to the shops, to swimming or to story time we have conversations. he remembers what i've told him before and if we pass by that way again he will mention it.
he likes to cook together. to make piklets, gingerbread men and chocolate chip biscuits. sometimes i grit my teeth when he wants to "help". patience is a good thing!
he loves to help his da.
i am coveting one more year with him before he starts preschool. he says to me: "mama, you are real, real lovely and cute" and he gives me loads of kisses.
he is a joker, and doesn't mind being a bit silly!!
i love seeing the world through the eyes of a three year old.
January 23, 2009
things green and West Wing. and a bit of resilience.
i have been following this blog for a little while now. Stephanie Nielson and her husband (who i don't know) were in a light plane crash a few months ago. she suffered burns to a large part of her body, her husband to his arm and leg. a couple of weeks ago she came out of hospital, and this week she began posting on her blog again. her posts are inspirational. it makes you realise what the important things are. and reminds me not to focus on the negative: the financial strains, the tensions in relationships, friendships... focus on the good things. the important things and the joyful things. how resilient could i be in such a situation?
i have spent the past couple of months thinking about how i want to live my life. changes to make for the better. and also about my "parenting philosophy". nothing too technical, just to put down things that feel right to me in my (our) parenting. i hope to share them sometime. even just to put it down so i can see where i am coming from as i work to stay focused in the right direction.
but for now i'll share a little spot that i am making my own... once a week I have my lunch here and read a magazine from cover to cover. i figure this is the only way they will get read, rather than piling up beside the lounge. and this is my "peaceful Friday".
because i have posted a couple of West Wing clips this week, i thought i really need to post a scene from one of my favourite episodes. :-D it is from the first season.
Toby (White House Communications Director) was called when a homeless man was found dead in a park. Toby had previously given a coat to good will, but his business card had been left in a pocket. it turned out the guy was a veteran from the Korean War. Toby thought it disgraceful that someone who served his country had died homeless and alone. he arranges a state funeral for him. it was during Christmas, which is why there are also flashes to a children’s choir singing at the White House. i admit i did cry during this episode.
i have spent the past couple of months thinking about how i want to live my life. changes to make for the better. and also about my "parenting philosophy". nothing too technical, just to put down things that feel right to me in my (our) parenting. i hope to share them sometime. even just to put it down so i can see where i am coming from as i work to stay focused in the right direction.
but for now i'll share a little spot that i am making my own... once a week I have my lunch here and read a magazine from cover to cover. i figure this is the only way they will get read, rather than piling up beside the lounge. and this is my "peaceful Friday".
because i have posted a couple of West Wing clips this week, i thought i really need to post a scene from one of my favourite episodes. :-D it is from the first season.
Toby (White House Communications Director) was called when a homeless man was found dead in a park. Toby had previously given a coat to good will, but his business card had been left in a pocket. it turned out the guy was a veteran from the Korean War. Toby thought it disgraceful that someone who served his country had died homeless and alone. he arranges a state funeral for him. it was during Christmas, which is why there are also flashes to a children’s choir singing at the White House. i admit i did cry during this episode.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *
ps: oh, and thank you Aunty Mel for N's bug catcher!
January 22, 2009
a new day
i woke up this morning to the news that Obama has suspended the military hearings at Guantanamo Bay. a good day!
i love that happiness was central to his inaugural speech
it is a relief to hear him talk about the need for collective good to take precedence over personal enrichment.
as mentioned a couple of days ago, i loved that Obama used Lincoln's bible to take his oath. i love history, and i think Abraham Lincoln was a remarkable man, so i thought it significant that his bible was used. it also reminded me of this scene in the West Wing (sorry, i can't help it!)
other West Wing comparisons are that on Obama's team is a 27 year old speechwriter. kind of made me think of Sam Seaborn in the Bartlett administration.
not to mention that YoYo Ma played at Obama's inauguration and also at a White House Christmas Party in an episode of West Wing. (the clip shows Josh speaking to a phsycologist)
so there you have it!
today i am off to Bungendore for vintage children's books. so it should be a good day all round. ;-)
i love that happiness was central to his inaugural speech
it is a relief to hear him talk about the need for collective good to take precedence over personal enrichment.
as mentioned a couple of days ago, i loved that Obama used Lincoln's bible to take his oath. i love history, and i think Abraham Lincoln was a remarkable man, so i thought it significant that his bible was used. it also reminded me of this scene in the West Wing (sorry, i can't help it!)
other West Wing comparisons are that on Obama's team is a 27 year old speechwriter. kind of made me think of Sam Seaborn in the Bartlett administration.
not to mention that YoYo Ma played at Obama's inauguration and also at a White House Christmas Party in an episode of West Wing. (the clip shows Josh speaking to a phsycologist)
so there you have it!
today i am off to Bungendore for vintage children's books. so it should be a good day all round. ;-)
January 19, 2009
babbling
i have been posting lots of pics lately, so felt i was due to babble for a bit.
my boss dashed off for Melbourne this morning and as he left mentioned that he had approval for me to travel to East Timor. maybe he didn’t get the hint last week when i said i didn’t want to travel this year… maybe he thinks i didn’t get the hint when he asked “was” i able to go to East Timor if necessary… was that a rhetorical question??
i’ll ignore it for a little while longer.
i’m loving iTunes at the moment which is unusual for me as i have always been someone who likes to have the object in my hand. in this case, a cd with a cover and lyrics… but for less than the usual cost, i can have the cd downloaded straight to my pc and in my ears in a moment. and it means we won’t need a new cd rack. one thing i can’t compromise on is books. i’ve thought of joining a library, but it wouldn’t be the same (for me) as owning the book. besides, at the rate i am reading these days i’d end up with overdue fines and would probably be barred from the public library. to tell the truth though, now that i am back at work i am flying through my reading. currently The Behaviour of Moths.
good buys recently have been Klaus (i burnt a copy for D to listen to in the car, which he is also enjoying). Klaus has a hint of Keith Green passion and piano, which i love. also Kari Jobe – a great worship cd, but bought particularly for the Revelation Song. i posted a clip of that a little while ago.
and my recent iTunes purchase is Rosie Thomas. bit of an independent musician. i don’t know what genre she’d be – probably folk. i’m always drawn to folk music. i love guitar. i wish i could play guitar. i’d play acoustic all the time.
other music I have my eye on at the moment is The Innocence Mission. a bit of Christian indie.
reading up on them led me to this story. you can read about the music teacher and his year 5 choir here.
i greatly admire people who give of their time for others.
i saw Obama gave a speech today in front of the Lincoln Memorial. the nerd in me has had this on my list of places to visit if I ever go back to the States. my sister has been.
you can’t work in the democracy field and not be a fan of Lincoln – the greatest Republican President the US has had. there is a Lincoln quote that i remind myself of from time to time: “He has the right to criticise, who has the heart to help”. maybe today we would say “put up or shut up”.
speaking of all things Washington D.C. – D and i are now into the seventh and final season of the West Wing. what ever will we do when it is over??? ;-)
i did a quiz and apparently i am Donna. which is fine with me as i tend to empathise with her character a lot! and i can't wait to see what becomes of Josh and Donna in the end. after a busy weekend of entertaining, i think i am ready for another episode tonight.
Known as the only one who can control Josh Lyman, she answers to his every bellow. She has a thing for Yo-Yo Ma, philately, and Josh... but won't act on it. Although hired on the Bartlet Campaign by pure luck, Donnatella has now proven herself to be a valuable asset.
:: Which West Wing character are you? ::
my boss dashed off for Melbourne this morning and as he left mentioned that he had approval for me to travel to East Timor. maybe he didn’t get the hint last week when i said i didn’t want to travel this year… maybe he thinks i didn’t get the hint when he asked “was” i able to go to East Timor if necessary… was that a rhetorical question??
i’ll ignore it for a little while longer.
i’m loving iTunes at the moment which is unusual for me as i have always been someone who likes to have the object in my hand. in this case, a cd with a cover and lyrics… but for less than the usual cost, i can have the cd downloaded straight to my pc and in my ears in a moment. and it means we won’t need a new cd rack. one thing i can’t compromise on is books. i’ve thought of joining a library, but it wouldn’t be the same (for me) as owning the book. besides, at the rate i am reading these days i’d end up with overdue fines and would probably be barred from the public library. to tell the truth though, now that i am back at work i am flying through my reading. currently The Behaviour of Moths.
good buys recently have been Klaus (i burnt a copy for D to listen to in the car, which he is also enjoying). Klaus has a hint of Keith Green passion and piano, which i love. also Kari Jobe – a great worship cd, but bought particularly for the Revelation Song. i posted a clip of that a little while ago.
and my recent iTunes purchase is Rosie Thomas. bit of an independent musician. i don’t know what genre she’d be – probably folk. i’m always drawn to folk music. i love guitar. i wish i could play guitar. i’d play acoustic all the time.
other music I have my eye on at the moment is The Innocence Mission. a bit of Christian indie.
reading up on them led me to this story. you can read about the music teacher and his year 5 choir here.
i greatly admire people who give of their time for others.
i saw Obama gave a speech today in front of the Lincoln Memorial. the nerd in me has had this on my list of places to visit if I ever go back to the States. my sister has been.
you can’t work in the democracy field and not be a fan of Lincoln – the greatest Republican President the US has had. there is a Lincoln quote that i remind myself of from time to time: “He has the right to criticise, who has the heart to help”. maybe today we would say “put up or shut up”.
speaking of all things Washington D.C. – D and i are now into the seventh and final season of the West Wing. what ever will we do when it is over??? ;-)
i did a quiz and apparently i am Donna. which is fine with me as i tend to empathise with her character a lot! and i can't wait to see what becomes of Josh and Donna in the end. after a busy weekend of entertaining, i think i am ready for another episode tonight.
Known as the only one who can control Josh Lyman, she answers to his every bellow. She has a thing for Yo-Yo Ma, philately, and Josh... but won't act on it. Although hired on the Bartlet Campaign by pure luck, Donnatella has now proven herself to be a valuable asset.
:: Which West Wing character are you? ::
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)