Saturday

My boy turned 10. I love him and am amazed as I watch him grow and see him developing.  He loves his iPod (of course) and is mad about football.  He has a tight group of friends.  I see a boy with a soft heart, who is sentimental about the things that he knows others in his family enjoy, and I am grateful for his maturity. 

 

Still, there are moments I wish time would slow down, just a little.

 

I continue with the work/study/parenting juggle, but am more mindful to take some moments to simply be...  I had a rocky year last year, and so now I am aware of the things I need to feed my soul, and my spirit to keep my head clear and my goals worthwhile.  Even enjoying a hot cup of tea is a good one.  :D

Isn't is funny how you can make study look more inviting than it really is ;)

Two podcasts that give me the sense of equilibrium that I need are On Being and The One You Feed.

A recent post on the On Being website resonates with how I have been feeling for a while.  The way "living" drains the life out of us.  Always things wanted, or even "needed".  And yet these things eat our time away.  Time really is a luxury these days and I feel the demands of so much pushing back on my attempts to simplify.  A quote in my work diary last year, which I have cut and stuck in my new diary, says:  "How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives."  This quote keeps me accountable for keeping what is important in life the main thing.

I am enjoying Instagram.  I am looking back to things that a few  years brought me a lot of happiness - even when I did more looking and thinking than actually the doing - such as with scrapbooking or sewing.  Reading Ali Edwards blog lets me enjoying memory keeping through someone elses work ;) 

I have been sewing a little.  Library bags, snack sacks and drawstring bags to carry little things seem to be my go-to craft when I don't have much time for sewing.  I look forward to making more of an effort to sew from patterns I bought when Audrey was little, but from which (hopefully) Maggie will benefit.  :)  The library bag above was made last week when the weather was too miserable to make a planned trip to the library with Maggie.

As the kids are growing older and their interests are expanding, time seems more scarce.  I almost miss the days when afternoons at home with a pile of paper and crayons were exciting, although I love the ages Nicholas and Audrey are now, with all that they are teaching me about parenting...  In any case I get to do it all again with Maggie.  She is growing SO much, and likes to "draw".  I bought her some grip crayons and sit her in her highchair.  Books and walls have already seen her leave her mark. 

Last night it was beautiful to see her playing with Audrey.  It was the first time she played a game - in terms of a game that had a plot, following Audrey around, making a cubby house together and having tea.  You could see that she enjoyed it and was totally immersed in the game.

During the day, as I was working from home, I felt I was neglecting her a little so asked if she wanted to play a game.  "Yeth" she answered (with her lisp) and we sat simply rolling a ball to each other.  She laughed the whole time, and loved it.

 

 

 

 

 

It wasn't so long ago this was my little girl...

 

 

And to my reading.  Still a small pile of books "to be read" but while I desperately need to get through uni readings, I do not dare pick up a book.  I do like the idea of having a book with me and even if I only read one page on my way home from work it will be a little time out from the reading that I have to do.  To that end, and also in order to have less clutter crowding me, I have finally decided to take the plunge and purchase a Kindle.  It all makes sense to me for a number of reasons (financial included).  Then I see someone sitting on the bus with an actual book and already feel sentimental to hold the pages and use a bookmark.  

When I spoke about getting a Kindle the other night Nicholas said "but keep all our books".  I said that I would still buy special books.  Later the next day I asked him what made him think that, and he said he likes having books in the house and likes that people will know we read. 

One thing on contemplating a Kindle though, I looked through yet another article the other day about kids and electronics.  I am pretty much happy with the limit on our kids - No iPods etc Monday - Friday (exceptions at times) but then after school on Friday and through the weekend they can play their games.  Even then we try and limit the time and ensure they take a break to do other things.  It works for us. I would actually like to do something like have a basket where all the phones and electronics live, and that even I don't touch my phone etc until the kids are in bed.  I feel like a hypocrite telling them they need limits, and then they see me using my iPhone (not knowing that I am looking at a recipe etc.  While at school they use computers for maths, we have Reading Eggs for Audrey (which is wonderful) and now the school have google apps and Britannica online.  It is so much a part of our world, and I am still hesitant to be seen swiping yet another screen...

"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be." - Groucho Marx - See more at: http://eliseblaha.typepad.com/#sthash.hsvlJhri.dpuf

"I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be." - Groucho Marx - See more at: http://eliseblaha.typepad.com/#sthash.hsvlJhri.dpuf

Monday

Nearing the end of June? Already?  What has happened to the weeks?

Well, I know how the time has been spent.  A lot of it in groundhog day... waking up to the same.  I continue though, to desperately try to find the balance between the fast paced necessary activities that consume life, and the things that enable us (me) to breathe, to be still, to listen.
So what has happened?  David had a birthday.  Nicholas has played some outstanding football.  He faced one of his biggest fears and gave a speech at school to stand for SRC.  He didn't get a spot on the SRC but I am as proud as I can be, because he chose to do something that makes him anxious.

Audrey is doing a great job at her reading and writing.  She I growing up quickly, but loves Rainbow Magic fairy books, her Tinkerbelle and My Little Ponies.  She loves our "coffee time".  

Maggie is growing.  She is talking and has a number of new words every time I take the time to stop and notice.  She has a lisp. She still sleeps beside me at night.  I need to stop that soon, so that I can sleep...

I have finished Trimester 1 at university.  Now I sit waiting for my grades.  I have moved offices.  So modern!  Sensor lighting, great coffee close by, lovely modern, clean bathrooms (sorry West Block).

Probably the biggest change for me is that I have left my job.  A job that I have enjoyed a lot.  I had spent fifteen years doing something that made going to work an enjoyable thing, for a long time.  But things were changing, nothing that needs detail here, but I had done everything there was to do.  And a change is good, right? Day one my boss asked if I wanted to go to Melbourne.  Yes please.

I think about this space.  The reason behind my keeping it remains the same.  To remember. I anticipate the next trimester, not looking forward to the demands of study.  Two units remain and it will be over, but to be honest, that road looks long from where I am right now.

If I list the small things, the simple things that bring me pleasure, they would be a good flat white.  No sugar, no froth.  A striking journal - I love notebooks.  I have too many that I have not written in.  Aesop products... Seeing the mountains - something that gives me pleasure that I feel and notice immediately.  My family.  My kids, and the grace they show to me everyday when I feel I fail.  

An early night, something that never seems to come.  ;)

Monday

Time to catch up.

Out and about with the family! Firstly to the Apple Festival a couple of weeks ago.  It was nice to just be outside, somewhere different.  David and I sat in the shade and had coffee and dutch pancakes while the kids played. 

And this weekend ~ Easter.  Technically it is Maggie's second, but the first time that she is able to take part in the fun.  It soon became clear that all the focus was on her and I can see she is going to be loved (spoilt) very much as she grows up.  :)

Maggie is starting to understand stopping and (kind of) smiling for the camera.  :)

 

Sisters.  She loves her big "sissy". xxo

*when these photographs were taken, Nicholas was off rounding up sheep!

Thursday

I am so proud of David.  Last night, I admit to shedding a tear as he graduated from university with a Bachelor of Education.  The past seven years have been a long journey for as all, but he worked so hard and did so well.  It was wonderful to see him graduate.

Friday

We love Autumn...

Saturday

 

A couple of weeks ago I received my final mark for the unit I was studying this past Trimester.  A Distinction!  Nobody more surprised (or happier/relieved) than me!  However I am now two weeks into trimester one for for 2015...  I remind myself, only three units to go...

Meanwhile, life is marching on in all its forms. Work.  I am back to three days per week.  Normally this, for me, is the ideal.  The balance is right. I am continuing to question whether I continue to be in the field I am.  Should I take opportunities to make changes to my work??  Changes that I know will benefit my family.

Family.  David is well into his new position, teaching.  I knew it would be demanding of his time, and he is also studying two nights per week.  

I am learning to s l o w   d o w n. To stop juggling.  Not to multi task, but to be present in this moment.  The now and what I am currently doing, not the many things that are waiting to be done. 

On Being.  My very favourite podcast. I am like a sponge soaking water.  I love it - drinking in the conversations.  One that I listened to was with Yo Yo Ma. Somewhere in his conversation he mentioned Stravinsky, which reminded me of a book my parents bought me when I was first at university.  By Joseph Brodsky. He wrote an essay on Stravinsky.  I think.  That is what came to mind.
Another I listened to this afternoon, with poet Marie Howe.  Later in the podcast she mentioned her lecturer at Columbia University - Joseph Brodsky.

What I find in listening to these conversations is that I am being brought back to the beginning.  The things that I feel I resonate with.  It does feel like home.  I remember back to 1990 when I started at university.  All my friends had left college and moved on to other things.  We had gradually drifted apart... I was on my own and life filled with so many things I came to love.  In another season of life we can forget these first things.  It is refreshing to remember them and bring them into my new life, with family.