Wednesday

Lately I have been feeling a sense of excitement.  A lot of things seem to be taking shape - the thoughts that have been crowding my mind are settling and things are becoming clearer...

Next week I return to work after 8 wonderful weeks of leave.  I am looking forward to throwing myself back into things.  Probably an easy thing to do as the Christmas break will only be five weeks later!

While on leave I was able to do all the tasks I had set myself.  The bathroom is painted (we are up to the exciting part of choosing taps and decorating).  The vegetable garden has been planted and after two mishaps the dogs now (hopefully) cannot get in!

My quilt is (close to being) finished!  Tonight I hope to have the last of the binding completed.  I am SO keen to have a picture of it finished, washed and blowing in the breeze up I'll try and stay up until the last stitch is sewn!  I looked for thread the colour of the binding fabric and found the perfect match in my grandmothers old sewing tin.  I love that!

I've also read two books and have started a third.  I got a couple of other sewing jobs that were lying around unfinished done.  There is more to come though - Christmas sacks being a priority.  I also want to do a new quilt cover (courtesy of an easy Lincraft pattern) for Nicholas' bed.  David will be bringing home some new furniture for Nicholas' room, which we are all excited about and I have found a gorgeous quilt that I'd like to make for the top of his bed.  This time, something with straight stitching, no hand quilting and no embroidery ;)I can't see it happening in a matter of weeks, but I do look forward to browsing for fabric.  I like the colour schemes and fabric choices here, here and here.

This afternoon I'm enjoying tea, a magazine and flowers.  Perfect to calm my mind in preparation for work.  :) 

I was grateful to have the school holidays home with Nicholas and Audrey. One thing that I have realised in various ways is that although they love having me home, given that they are usually at school when I am at work, they do just fine without me. :)  This realisation has probably helped me with some other decisions.

A couple of BIG things that have been brewing in the back of my mind are that I am considering picking up an extra day of work next year, all depending on David's options at his work. I have also decided to finish my studies... the University has said that I can get credit for my Graduate Diploma and then move across into the Master of Arts (International Relations).  A number of things have brought me to my final decision which I might write about soon, but I feel excited about completing this challenge, if not a little nervous about how we will go juggling something else.

*some unrelated photos in this post!

Sunday (just)

I have posted this before.  But it is worth being reminded.

Monday

I read this quote today and nothing could express more clearly the way I have been feeling and thinking the past few days...

If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it.

~ John Irving

* * * * * * *

Audrey had a starring role at her school assembly this morning.

Her line was:

Joeys and Possums will now sing 'If you're happy and you know it..."

We were proud.  :)

Sunday

New things.  We went to pick up a puppy and came home with two.  The little brown one we initially went to get is the runt of the litter and very quiet and very cute.  David fell in love with another, who is stockier and more adventurous.  After a little thought we decided it would be worth the extra effort of going from no dogs to two as they can keep each other company when we aren't around.  The tan pup has been named Minus and the white and tan pup is Sizzles... both after the dogs that appear in favourie cartoons (it was either that or literary names, poor things didn't have a chance!)  They are a Pomeranian / Fox Terrier cross. 

Before bed the kids had to have another quick play.

More random things - I realised I need to get my fruit mince made so that I can be prepared to make Margaret Fulton's fruit mince tarts at Christmas time.  We really need to get started on thinking about Christmas this year and what we would like to do, making it a mindful celebration.

It is terrible that not only do I know what my two presents are this year, I chose them!  The second arrived by post the other day, and I couldn't resist a peak. 

I kept it in the plastic but opened the box.  Swedish design and Italian leather... I can't wait!  Nicholas and Audrey were cross with me for looking and said I needed to "take patience".

Saturday

David and dad had need to remove a tree from our front yard last week.  As the chainsaw rang out noisily I couldn't help but think of my grandfather, his father, his great-grandfather.  From the time they arrived in Australia in the 1830's his family have lived in the same area in northern New South Wales.  They were timber cutters for generations.  This is a photograph of my grandfather when he was a teenager (on the left).  His brother is on the right, and was killed a few months after I was born when he was struck by a felled tree.

Thinking of cutting down trees in the early 19th century (even bigger than the one in the photograph) with an axe amazes me.  While listening to the noise of the chainsaw I tried to picture thick bush, and the sound of the axe hitting the trunk of the tree, ring barked and ready to fall, the crash and rustle as it hits the ground.  No doubt shouts of warning as the tree begins to fall.

In a history of the area where they lived I read the following account:

"As the autumn of 1861 merged into winter, Coorumbung became a scene of busy activity.  The first small-scale land sales had already taken place, and no time was being lost in clearing the land and erecting permanent dwellings. On each successive day the bushlands rang with the sharp resonant peal of axes, the grinding thunder of crashing trees, and the triumphant shouts of men, women and children.  In those days the atmosphere was pungent with the fresh aroma of slaughtered treetops, and saturated with the clean white smoke of burning gum leaves.  These were exhausting but exciting days for the newly arrived settlers - the Blackfords, the Malones, the Deaves and others who inadvertently were welding a scattered, half-baked community into a prosperous village.

But a price had to be paid by those pioneers, the price of a few lives lost in the early struggles with the environment.  The first recorded tragedy occurred one Tuesday late in the month of July 1861...  Suddenly the tree uttered a warning crack and commenced to fall swiftly.  Mrs Blackford called to her children to come away, but tragically her fourteen year old daughter, Mary, ran towards the creek and directly in the path of the crashing giant... Nearby settlers rushed to the spot as the alarm was spread around.  Mrs Sophia Deaves hurried down from her house, where she had been preparing the evening meal, to comfort the frightened mother, while the bewildered young axeman ran to fetch help from the menfolk.  Three men, James Armitage, John Grant and Henry Murdoch came from their huts to assist in removing the offending branch of the tree, but the girl was already dead."

Sophia Deaves was my great-great-great grandmother and James Armitage my great-great-great grandfather.  Their great grandchildren married and had a baby - my mum!  :)

It is nice to read of an account of one day in their lives and imagine what happened, how they reacted and what their surroundings were.  I think of the bark slab hut Sophia was cooking in when she heard the screams.  I imagine it like this...



Australian stories.  Tim Winton, Paul Kelly,  William McInness and Peter Garrett  are Australian artists who in my opinion have the ability to write beautifully about the everyday in Australian life.  They make me proud of Australian culture.  I have a book of short stories by Tim Winton, one which is called 'My Father's Axe'. I look forward to reading it - all brought about by the sound of a chainsaw! :)

"He could swing an axe, my father. And that axe is gone. He taught me how to split wood though I could never do it like him, those long, rhythmic semi-circular movements like a ballet dancer's warm-up." 'My Father's Axe', Scission, Tim Winton.

Sunday

This afternoon I finished The Road.  WOW.  It is no doubt one of the best books I have read.  How can someone write about the world after an event that has never occurred so descriptively?  It was so moving, at times frightening.  I could feel the emotions of the book as it followed the journey of the man and the child though a desolate place.

It is no secret that I love to read and I would have trouble listing my all time favourite books but I tried to think of ones that I've read that have have left me feeling this way.  Wuthering Heights, The English Patient, Cold Mountain.

If I was an English Lit teacher (something I briefly thought of doing 20 years ago) this would definitely be on my list of books to read.

Wednesday

Lately I have been thinking about the ways I attempt navigate my life through this thing called parenting.  When there was just the two of us life was a party!  We had a nice unit which could be sparkling clean in a matter of 2 hours tops.   We had a lovely little cafe next door and often walked to the movies and had wood fired pizza  We saved and planned for what was to become a wonderful 5 weeks in Italy.  Life was about friends, food, travel,movies and a good time.  Oh, and sleeping in and reading a good book - all day if I wanted!

Then we had children, which opened up a door to new joys and pleasures, which we wouldn't change for the world.  I think back to when I would stress about whether or not I could breastfeed my baby, if he dropped a toy on the floor it was immediately put away to be washed and sanitised.  Life moved on as it does and this blog documents many of my thoughts and experiences along the way.  Baby number two came along and all of the above continued.  I have my favourite blogs that I read and I would pick things up from the experiences of others that I thought would be good to incorporate into my own family's lives.

I am sitting here after negotiating child care for Audrey next year.  I think about how differently I feel about it now, to when I had to do the same thing for Nicholas at 7 months old.  I was anxious and was thankful for big sunglasses and the bus trip to work as it gave me the opportunity to dry my eyes before I got to my desk!

Audrey will remain at preschool for another year which we(and her teachers!) believe will be the best thing for her.  It also means that we will need to find care for another two days.  I have contacted two childcare / early childhood centres.  Given that she is older and would be able to start school if necessary I feel quite different about the situation now.  but I don't want just any child minding service.  I'd like something that engages her and is an enriching experience for her.  Something, that with her continued days at preschool, will continue to prepare her, socially and emotionally, for school.

I guess I am more pragmatic these days.  I have moved on from the "baby stage" blogs as well.  I find myself more often than not rolling my eyes at the trivial things that are blogged about in those first years.  A bit unkind I suppose, but as I am looking at 18 months before I return to full time work (gulp!) I guess I am being more pragmatic about the times we live in.  Still, I worry a times for Nicholas but in concealing my concern I try to teach him more about resilience and about being independent. 

So I guess what is around the corner and how we navigate it remains to be seen, but I know it will all be built around what is right for our family.