ex⋅haus⋅tion /ɪgˈzɔstʃən/ [ig-zaws-chuhn]
1. the act or process of exhausting.
2. the state of being exhausted.
3. extreme weakness or fatigue.
4. the total consumption of something: the exhaustion of your vacation benefits for the year
(unfortunately it is not the last definition!)
i know this is a condition every woman suffers - mum's... working mums. sometimes i go to bed at night and wonder if my body will just fall apart before morning.
i think being a working mum is hard. some people may think going to work is a break, but really - what are you doing? someone else's business. and you can't just go and sit in a cafe and read a book, or shop, or have a massage. you sit at a computer for 8 hours and your break consists of a trip to the bathroom or the kitchen for hot water. then you come home and there is all your other work waiting for you there. on my work days, the alarm goes off at 6am. we struggle out of bed at 6:20. D gets dressed for work, packs his lunch and breakfast. i decide which child i am going to disrupt from their slumber first, change nappies and get blankets and teddy's ready or the car trip. i always pack the bag of clothes and food the night before, so that saves some time (and i don't think my brain could manage thinking about what the kids may need that early in the morning). these days i am like a zombie. then, on a good day, husband and children are out of the driveway by6:40am. then i come inside and have breakfast, wish that i didn't have to move from the couch. , stumble to the shower and get dressed for work. sometimes i have programmed the washing machine the night before, and i go and hang it on the line. i make all the beds and i get the bus at 7:40am. i have my ipod full of music and audio, i take out my book. i read, i nap. i am at work by 8:30 and make coffee (i never used to have coffee before 10am!).
before my computer has even been switched on my boss is asking me questions about my projects, or informing me of meetings, or updating me on other critical events. my brain grinds.
i leave work at 5pm and am at home at 5:30. i bring in the washing and begin to get dinner. i take the opportunity to
D comes home with the kids (who thankfully have been bathed by their nan) and he either takes over the cooking or tends to his own jobs outside. i feed A something that has been pre-prepared and then put her to bed at 7pm. D, N and i sit at the table and eat our dinner. D either has a shower, or depending on the whim of N reads his bedtime story. otherwise i read to N and give him a final drink, a kiss and prayers. it is now 8pm. i do the dishes and get in my pyjamas. i then decide if i will do the folding/ironing or leave it for another day. as this is really our only "our time", D and i make hot chocolate and watch a movie together (or if it is Thursday, we watch Q&A :-) ). we talk. we unwind and go to bed. usually it is 11pm. then we begin again. :-)
is it any wonder that the days i am home, i try as much as possible to put my time with my kids first? i try to get the furniture dusted and floors washed as early as i can. so if people come to my place, i make no apologies for the basket of ironing sitting by the couch, for the train tracks that you need to negotiate to move from one room to the next. or for the pieces of crepe paper and glitter that may litter the floor. i like recording all these moments, and i love to read blogs that may adhere to a life i can only dream about. this is my favourite.
yes, life is busy, yes at times i feel i've arrived at my wits end but life. is. good.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
i love this girl with the wild hair.
that i have great plans to tame!
