Wednesday

Fog has settled around the house this morning.  Nicholas and Audrey are walking to school this morning in gloves and beanies.  I have a cardigan and scarf.  When Audrey and I get home the house is warm and I make Audrey a hot chocolate and myself a cup of tea.  It feels the perfect thing for reflecting a little in this space.  Earlier this week this baby, growing by the day it seems, was constantly active.  I took a heat pack to work so that I could bring some relief to my side.  I thought of her (the sonographer was so certain it would be a shock if we find otherwise) and picture her looking like her brother and sister.  Lots of dark hair.  At times it still feels strange, to imagine a family of five.  I look forward to holding her, to Nicholas and Audrey, both old enough to take this all in, meeting her for the first time.  In spite of this I am yet to make room, changes or preparations for her arrival!  We have been given a bassinet and a pram, I have washed two bags of gifted baby clothes and bought just two "pretty" sets of clothes.  The hand knitted woollens are out, ready for inspection and hand washing.

Audrey wakes on occasions through the night and calls out to her mama.  I mustn't sleep deeply because before I know it I am on my feet walking to her room.  Occasionally she has a wet bed, but more often than not she has woken and wants a cuddle.  It is something I have never denied, but I do wonder how I will manage when I throw 4 hourly feeds for a baby into the mix!

Twelve weeks until my due date, nine weeks left at work.  And so much to do.  Not only did I pick up an extra day this year, my work load doubled, care of higher duties and no back filling for my old position.  There is too much to do, with virtually no time to get it all done.  One day at a time, I tell myself.  Then the thing I look forward to most is de-cluttering at home!  My eyes are set on Audrey's room.  Little girls can accumulate SO much!

Lately Nicholas has set out his clothes and shoes for the next morning.  I am grateful that when he wakes up he is ready to get out of bed straightaway and wants his breakfast.  Yesterday he even folded his pyjamas and put them under the pillow of his unmade bed.  He is having a wonderful year at school which makes my heart glad.  His progress in maths and reading is positive and his maturity and confidence is growing.  He has settled in with a lovely group of friends, whose talk and play consists of Star Wars, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Minecraft.

Audrey is enjoying surprising us with her repertoire of "big" words like 'complicated' and 'unusual', telling us she thinks she is ready for big school now.  I am looking forward to taking her to kindergarten, seeing her in her school uniform and a new school bag.  At the same time my heart breaks a little thinking of commencing a new, and big, part of her life without me.  David and I are forever conscious of how much time daily chores and commitments can steal from us.  That is why we try to make the little things, big things in their lives.

David has finished an intensive month or prac teaching.  He was fortunate to have some experience at a good school with a mix of years.  The first time taking classes from years 7-10 on his own has given him a great feel for the life of lesson plans and dealing with teenagers.  Something I don't think I could do at all!  Like me, the juggle of work, study and prac have taken their toll and we are relieved he has a 10 week break before university recommences.  We have decided we are both desperately in need of down time that includes early nights, brunch and hopefully a weekend away.  Maybe a movie or two.  But definitely rest and recovery before our routines change and we become five. :)

Right now, we settled for a celebratory dinner out with the kids.