gorgeous morning. i'll send N out to play straight after breakfast. lawns were mowed last night. we have now lived in this house for 18 months. it is really nice to see the second round of seasons, and to stop and look at the colour in our garden. the next thing i'd like to tackle is the deck. we want to sand it back and re-stain it, build a gate for the top of the stairs for summer, so the kids can play there and i don't have to worry about A. maybe even move N's kitchen out there. here are some pics of things - colours, people, food - in our garden. if i knew how to do a mosaic of them i would. (grateful for suggestions...)
i have added another book to my list. i am enjoying Paula, but i think next i need to read some fiction. i went passed this the other day. as a bibliophile, i know you should never judge a book by its cover... but that is usually what attracts me to something. that and the title.

soon i need to go to Darwin. one of the few trips with work i need to do. it was that or Dili, so i'd rather go to Darwin where i know i can get on a plane quickly if i needed to, rather than Dili where AirNorth fills up quickly, and only has the one flight in or out each day. i am nervous about being gone for five days. A has been so clingy lately - even if we are sitting on the lounge and D i holding her, she is having a great time, but as soon as i get up to do something she cries. the nights have been worse - last night only slightly better. she is so tired, but screams when i leave the room. i come back and pat or hold her, depending on how distressed she sounds and she instantly closes her eyes. the second i put her down or walk away, the screaming starts again. last week i started to put her in bed with us because i was too tired to be up and down so much. then she sleeps through. i realised last night that when i went to settle her she sat up out of my arms and leant towards the door. so it is what she wants - to sleep with us. i would love it, only i don't think it is that good long term. besides, n comes in to our bed at about 4:30/5:00 in the morning. so there is a lot of activity in our house between 11pm and 5am!! four nights on my own, in a hotel room sounds luxurious. i am already fantasising about the magazines i recently bought, that i can finally read from cover to cover. about taking a book on the plane and doing nothing but read except for when my food is brought to me. best thing is that i get to fly business class, so lots of leg room. maybe not such a good thing - my boss suggested we get the same flights. he likes to talk. doesn't he realise being thousands of feet in the air, strapped in a chair is my only truly "alone" time??? :-) i'll have to put headphones on...

but in reality, i know i'll be stressing at night about how everyone is coping at home. David has taken a couple of days off work to be with the kids, so i am sure all will be well.