where my heart wanders

wow. look at the time and i am already on the computer. i don't know quite what else to do - the smart thing would be to go o bed and get some glorious sleep!
N has been packed up and sent off with his dad this morning for a day with his nan and pa. it is really strange when he is away from me - i realise how much of my day revolves around him and his activities. while a day to get a few other things done, and some quality time spent alone with Pea is really inviting, when the time comes, i don't like his leaving. even kissing his ruffled head this morning to gently wake him up. i started missing him, :-) he says to me: "lie next to me mama" and we get to snuggle for a few minutes before i wrap him in his red blanket and carry him to the car. he asks "the sun up now?"
he is growing up too quickly - someone please tell him to slow down!
i'm off shopping for his birthday party today, so that will be fun as i will be able to take my time at the shops - something unheard of with a baby and a toddler in tow.
i used this quote in N's scrapbook album once:
"having a baby is a momentous occasion - it is deciding to forever have your heart walking outside your body". that must be why i feel like something is missing when he is gone, even for a day. who knows how i will be when i am at work - i think i'll feel a little lost to begin with!
speaking of work, we went out to dinner tonight and i discovered that a colleague has applied for another job. well, he had actually told me he was applying, but i know he will get it. we have worked closely on all projects for eight years another colleague then sprung it on me that he is taking up a six month job offer in Stockholm at the end of the year. so how am i going to tell my boss i am looking for another job too??! he'll have a heart attack. all the skills learnt, all the knowledge of the work gone in a year...